Walking In Heels

Pre-GSCEs, I generally wore shoes to school which had something of a heel.

Post-GSCEs, in the Sixth Form, I frequently broke the rules and wore stilettos with a six inch heels to school.

Then I moved to Stuttgart, where it was winter. And snowy. And icy. Stilettos on ice are a really bad idea. So, I wore trainers, and haven't really stopped since. Now my feet (and my slightly too long trousers and jeans) are suffering, so I have started to wear proper leather footwear most of the time. I am "training" myself to wear heels again, but my God it's hard.

I have also started speaking/writing like an American. :s I know, after years and years of saying American is not English, I am morphing into one. But here hardly anyone understands my accent or my British vocabulary, plus all documents and things have to be written in American English, so it's kinda better if I am more "fluent" in American. I think everyone is getting annoyed when I say "noooooooo, it's not organiZed, it's organiSed". Haha.
Maybe I should change my blog from 'Parisian Wannabe' to 'American Wannabe'. Ha.

Until soon my lovelies,

The Wannabe American xx

Congratulations:

Congratulations: I officially hate you.

You may have managed to alienate everyone else around you, but I can see through your act.

And I don't like what I find.

This Morning, I Discovered ...

This morning, I discovered that my toothbrush had been moved from its usual home in the bathroom, to a pile of around 3 inches of DUST.

Yes, that's right. DUST.

I was suitably disgusted.

Where Has It Gone?!

The title of this post refers to my creativity, my imagination, my inspiration, my finesse, whatever you wish to call it ... it's GONE.

disappeared

Every photograph I take is rubbish. Not nearly good enough to put in my gallery or portfolio.

I know, my photography needs a lot of work, but I have zero ideas of what to photograph. I have a creative block, and a huge desire to get out there and take pictures.

Not good.

Every word I write is utter nonsense.

I am working on The Novel, but it's inane. It doesn't flow, there are no marvellously crafted sentences. That can, of course, be rectified with some editing. The main thing is to get the story down on the page. The problem is, I have no idea where the story is going. My characters are standing still, they have found themselves in a situation to which they do not know how to react. I am trying to think for them; what would I do? What should they do? How would they react? I impress the difference between I and They here, because they are of course their own multi-faceted personalities, and my own reactions to a situation may, and in fact frequently does, differ from theirs.

When I write, I start with a jumping off point, so to speak. A place from which my story will begin, and a place where it will end - or a rough idea of how it will end at least. The middle of the story forms itself throughout the writing process. The characters' actions cannot be planned meticulously, as ideas and twists frequently come to mind between beginning and end. Some find themselves included, many more disgarded, filed to the back of my mind for another story, another book, another time.

I have reached Chapter Five now, and the journey my two main characters are on has well and truly started. In order to bring them a little more to life right now, we shall call them Jason and Kylie, although of course, these are not their "real" names. As their "real" names are subject to change, we will for now stick with slightly more comical versions.

So, as I said, Jason and Kylie have begun their irreversible journey, and are already beyond the starting post. But now they are stuck; they are unsure of what to do next, which road to take, as am I, and they are not thinking for me. The temptation here is to waffle, to try and pad out the moments between significant events, and to put too much of myself into their characters and potentially take the story into an entirely different direction to the one in which it is headed. It has to cross the designated finishing line, but right now, I have absolutely NO idea of how it is going to get there.

If you find my inspiration, send it back to me with a flea in its ear. :)

Snow, Tea and Other General Ramblings

So, I haven't really posted anything worth reading lately, and to be honest, there isn't that much to report anyway, but I felt like I should update with something vaguely interesting.

The snow has come back to Munich, and it is freeeeeeezing! But it is also very sunny and there are blue skies, so I am happy. :) I have a headache though, which isn't too pleasant, but I have water and tea and paracetomol, so I am hoping it will get better.
It's only 9.44 a.m. here, as I write this, but already I have good feelings about today. I woke up earlier than normal, and was actually able to get out of bed earlier than usual too, with the result that I was at work earlier. Of course that put me in a good mood, and the bright blue sky and sun didn't do any harm. :)


I also tried some new tea last week. Well, it's not new tea but it's new to me. Katie wrote in her blog about Rooibos tea, and said that it was worth trying, so I thought "hmm, why not?" and tried it, and it's soooo nice. It's kinda like normal tea (by which I mean what is commonly known as 'English Breakfast Tea' to non-Brits, but is the most common kind of tea in the UK. ... Mmm Tetley ... I have a lovely hot cup sitting here beside the computer :) ) but it's not as strong and has a slightly different flavour. I have only tried it without milk because I never put milk in any tea apart from "normal tea" but I read that they put milk in Rooibos in South Africa (because it is African tea), so I am going to try that today.
Carlos is feeling a bit under the weather today, and Milena just told him to drink more water. I agreed, and said that he should have some tea too. They all laughed!!! I am offended ... clearly they do not understand the magical healing properties of tea. But they do exist. Honest.

In other news, I haven't been reading much (at all :( ) lately, because of my headaches and just general tiredness. I feel bad, like I have let myself down because I was so determined to read at least one book a week, but seriously when you are working full time and not even travelling on a train or bus long enough to read (if I take the bus, it's two minutes...), it is really difficult. After staring at the computer all day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is concentrate on a book, particularly because I'm not just reading "mindless Chick Lit", it requires a bit more concentration from my small brain. Also, I don't have that many books here which can be read in a week, without seriously overstressing my eyes.All my books here are long and small print, and best left for the holidays when I have hours and hours of free time to do nothing but laze around and lose myself in the plot. Man, I cannot wait for summer when I can do that!!
I have so much to do before then though, and top of the list is my year abroad essay, on which I have had absolutely no time to concentrate lately. As well as being generally tired, I got tonsilitis a couple of weeks ago, and it really knocked me for six. I went to the Betriebsarzt - the doctor at work, because they don't charge you. They dont have a central, socialised medical system here, and like in the States or Australia, or pretty much anywhere actually, you need medical insurance. Of course I have this, in the form of my E111 card, but the problem is, you have to pay first and then claim it back, and as I am on a fairly tight budget (which I literally cannot stick too, I always need to supplement it with money from my English account), I am obviously only likely to use it in a dire emergency (like if I stabbed or something, which I really do hope doesn't happen, but you see my point). So anyway, I went to the Betriebsarzt and they told me I had tonsilitis and gave me some anti-biotics, which have helped, but my glands are still a bit swollen and they didn't properly understand what I was trying to say because I didn't know some of the words in German (like glands), and I am still really really tired, so I am going to doctor at home in a couple of weeks to make sure everything is ok, but because I am so tired, I don't have the energy to focus on my project, which I fear is baaaaaaaaad.
In case you are interested, I am writing about The White Rose Movement, which was a resistance group led by Hans and Sophie Scholl during the war here in Munich, at the university. They were reported to the Gestapo and beheaded for their "crimes". My paper is on memory culture and how their legacy has lived on in the German memory. It's only 3000 words, so I can't delve too deeply into it, which is probably good because as you may have noticed, I am good at digressing!, but it really does narrow my scope of what to write about and means I have to be super selective. I currently have an essay plan, a start of a bibliography and a title, which my supervisor has suggested I reword slightly. I really need to crack on it with it, but I have no idea where to start, no time to think about it properly and no money for the books I need to buy. Grrrrr. Oh yeah, and it has to be auf Deutsch. :s

On the upside, my photography is gaining some recognition, which pleases me. I am getting more and more favourites and I even have a watcher now. :) I know I'm not all that good, and only an amateur, but I love it and I can feel myself improving, so it is nice to know that people are a) looking at my stuff and b) like it. I am glad that I have found a hobby which I can really get into. It's taken a while to find something that really excites me; in school I used to try everything but almost always gave up with it. I get bored easily and need change regularly, especially if something isn't quite what I want, so it's nice to finally have found "my thang". Haha.

Anyway, I'm sure you are all asleep by now, so I will shut up.

Have a happy Thursday!

xxxx

Confession

I'm sorry that I lied to you.

But I did it for your own good. And mine.